Autism can add some trouble to an already challenging process of dating. Because of the difficulties related to close contact with other people, some autistic adults decide to avoid romantic relationships at all. Today, we’ll try to give some tips for dating when you have autism. In fact, you experience almost the same problems as people without it and you also have a high chance to find someone you will love.
Where to Find a Partner?
One of the stereotypical places for finding a date, perhaps gifted to us by films and media, is a bar. With all the noise and flashing lights, a bar is definitely not a convenient environment for people with autism. However, even neurotypical people seldom meet their significant other in such places. Good news, there are plenty of other places to choose from.
Check Your Daily Routines
Sometimes we commute to work without noticing other people. We can work at the same office building with our potential date but never come to greet him or her. If you are afraid of the awkward situations that may appear if you date someone close or in your work environment, it’s better to join a new social group or try online dating. Check events at local museums and galleries, or others activities more connected with your hobbies. It is much easier to start a conversation with somebody if you have a common interest and can start discussing it right away. In addition, social activities are less intimidating than 1-on-1 meetings with complete strangers.
Online Dating
The online format is gaining in popularity because it gives people an opportunity to know each other better before actually meeting in person. You have more time to understand what the partner wants to say and find a good answer. Online dating websites promise to find matches based on multiple personality traits, preferences, and even on the time you are ready to sacrifice to date with your potential partner.
Check the online dating tips we shared last time for info on how to find a soulmate online if you have autism.
With all the advantages of online dating, still, pay attention to the safety measures. Unfortunately, even the places that are designed to help people meet other people looking for a trustful relationship, attract fraudsters and ill-wishers. So it always makes sense to keep to safety measures, plan dates in public places, check the profile of your date by suggesting a video chat.
How to Ask Someone on a Date?
Before asking someone out, it is important to understand whether the person is interested in you at all. Reading body languaging can be hard for all people and can become a challenge for people with autism. Learn how people show their interest through eye contact, body movements, and smiling. It is likewise important to learn to show interest in another person. Because sometimes excessive shyness makes people send confusing signals. To get some ideas on how to use body language, try watching romantic films with your friends or those who you trust and discuss the film afterward. Of course, movies don’t show how dating looks in the real life, but you will get some understanding of the cues and hints. If you feel uneasy about expressing your interest through body language, you can try a safer strategy and offer your help.
Though body language and interest matter, you can be totally sure of the intentions of the person only if you ask him or her out. Remember that every person experiences the same level of stress as you do when you ask someone on a date. Yet, anxiety is exactly the thing that you don’t need now. Breathe and relax as confidence will make you sound natural and more attractive. To relieve the stress, ask your close friend to role-play how you are going to ask your date. If you feel too afraid of asking somebody out in person, you can try to text him or her but remember that messages are so easy to forward. So check that you can trust the person’s moral qualities.
How to Not Let Autism Ruin Your Date?
Watch out for Excessive Sensory Stimulation
Dating is always about physical contact, which is not easy for people with autism. You should remember your comfort because the more comfortable you feel, the more relaxed your date will feel with you. If you feel too uncomfortable hugging someone, you can hold hands instead. While choosing a place for a date, avoid too loud or occupied places.
Show Engagement while Talking
It takes time to master small talk. You should learn to ask questions and show your engagement in the dialog. Try to understand what makes you yourself. After that, it will be much easier to ask your partner questions about likes, dislikes, hobbies, and other trivial things. Be careful with such topics as religions, politics, and beliefs as you can easily offend a person by insisting on your truth.
Avoid Love Fixations
People with autism easily become preoccupied with a subject of interest. However, such excessive attention can seem very strange for your potential partner. So always check that your actions are not annoying for your date and he or she doesn’t feel like being stalked.
Conclusion
Though all people need love and understanding, it is always a hard thing to start dating someone and find a person you trust. Autism adds challenge to the process. However, a good start is to learn more about yourself. The better you understand yourself, the better you will understand people you are interested in. Remember about safety and let yourself relax as much as possible to have an indeed good date.
