Dating can be a stressful experience for every person, and unfortunately, it gets a particularly challenging experience for a person with autism spectrum disorders. Online dating can be a real savior for such people as it simplifies the first steps of getting acquainted with another person. People with autism get more control over how they present themselves to their potential partners when they use online methods of communication as there are fewer non-verbal cues and a lot more time to think over the words of the partner and come up with a correct answer.
Complete your profile right
When some difficulties are gone, others appear. How to fill in a profile correctly for people with autism so that to attract the right partners? A study conducted at the University of Bath focused on exploring how women react to the profiles of men with autism. As a result, researchers came up with some useful tips to make the profile catchier. Those tips will be also helpful for women with ASD/ASD looking for a man on a dating website.
- Maintain consistency in your profiles description as people usually find consistent profiles more attractive and reliable.
- Write about your autism. People prefer to choose partners who they can trust. It takes courage to tell about such a condition, yet, potential partners usually appreciate such honesty.
- Choose positive words to tell people about your hobbies and traits. Positive words are more appealing than negative ones.
Don’t forget that the information you put online is public and will stay there. So, be careful when sending messages and sharing your photos and other personal information. Be ready that other people can also see it.
Every woman looking for a man on a dating site has at least once experienced the excitement that comes with it. Feeling the connection, it can seem so hard to take a break. However, sometimes it makes sense to wait for several hours or even a day before sending something just to make sure that you are sure of what you want to say, especially, if it is very personal. You can also check whether it is a good idea to send something is to ask your friend or a relative, someone who you trust.
Think twice before hitting “Send”
Online communication has some specifics. You read the messages of another person with your intonation and tone of voice. You don’t see the facial expression and don’t know the exact context in which a person is texting you. Before answering the partner, take your time to check whether you understand him or her correctly. If you are a woman looking for a man also reread your sentences and check that your message is free of extra potential interpretations that you don’t want to add.
Rely on your intuition
Should you feel that something in the behavior of your partner is suspicious, don’t make yourself continue the communication you don’t like. Just block the user and end communication. If a person goes on texting you in an offensive manner, remember that you can report such thighs to the website team.
Use a video check before meeting offline
Many dating websites are equipped with a video communication tool, so you can have a face-to-face talk even before you meet offline. Sometimes this can be a good check whether you want to meet with somebody in person at all. A woman looking for a man on a dating website can also try a video chat as a secure way to make sure that her partner is indeed the person he says he is.
Follow all the safety rules before meeting in person
This tip is not only about current hygienic rules, but also eternal safety measures, such as choosing public places, notifying your friends or relatives about where and with whom you are going to date. Still, remember that you go there to have a good time and don’t get too nervous.
Avoid love fixation
People with autism spectrum disorders tend to be extremely focused on particular topics. This intense concentration can regard even people, but not every potential partner is ready for such attention. Some can even read close attention as a threatening sign. So, let your potential partner get used to you, and check that your feelings are mutual before going forward.
Asking someone out online
When you feel that this is the right moment, ask your potential partner for a date. You know, people with autism and without it face almost the same level of stress when asking someone out. It is a good idea to approach someone with an open question first, say, “Do you feel like going out sometime?” This way, your potential parnеr will answer exactly your question without considering a wrong or right date or place. Some psychologists recommend meeting each other soon enough after you establish a good contact online. Because it often happens that people that seem so compatible when they are just chatting, are actually very different when they finally meet in person.
Choose a proper place
A person with autism should be careful with the potential sensory stimuli at the place. Anyways, consider such factors as:
- Distance: the place should be convenient to reach for both of you.
- Cost: don’t choose too cheap and too expensive places for the first date.
- Time: short-term activities are usually more comfortable for both partners. Choose a walk or a coffee together. You will have enough time to get to know each other and understand whether you are indeed compatible.
Be ready for rejection
Rejection is a very painful experience for every person. Remember that however confusing rejection is, there is no reason for blaming your state, your character, or some of your traits. The feelings of your potential date can change for no reason at all. In this case, we can only accept what happens. Never give up when you face rejection, stay confident, and start looking for a man once again.
Final thoughts
Though dating can seem a very frightening experience for every person, it also brings you energy, support, and excitement. Sometimes, we need to practice before we actually meet a person who we will love. However, with some due attention to this part of your life and courage, you will definitely meet your significant other.
